The Paradox of Human Emotions
Failure. Success. Winning. Losing. Fear. Angry. Anxiety. Control. Peace.
All these have one thing in common… And that is the human emotional connection that derives from being a success or a failure, a winner or a loser, a philomath or even someone who has literally given up learning. They stem from the very roots of emotions. Some claim from childbirth (Myers Briggs), while others believe that we can change our outcomes by pure focus and a strong intent to change. However, we all face life in certain aspects that regards us to be either open, or closed to the world around us.
Take for example a child, in all his/her little mind. They perceive the world as it is, unkempt, untouched and unaltered. They are accepting to the world around them as they discover what is possible, what is not, what may harm them and what they can possibly do, even if it means wrecking your kitchen table full of food because they found a piece of table cloth hanging from the table, hence the need to nudge their senses by pulling it to find out what that will do. Ever wondered why Dee Dee from Dexter’s Laboratory always say “ooooh, I wonder what will this button do?”. Mind this that a little boy or girl are not in control of their emotions just yet and may use it for their advantage in some cases (if allowed to) and some learn that their emotions does not give them reward.
Paradoxically, as we grow and age, let’s take a growing child at the age of 6, we start to wonder if our emotions, when implied on others, will it have the same effect as it does on our parents at home. So without thinking, a child goes to school, analyzes who he/she can be friends with, starts picking out their own set of friends or toys, and the early champs are the ones that finds a toy or the most interesting thing to do FIRST, while the rest follow suit. The most interesting thing to see are the ones that are left behind, finding happiness within their own little bubble. This experiment is best seen in kindergartens where children segregate themselves on the first day of their schooling lives. (Mine started at the age of 6, a little late I know, but it was just a thing back in 1997).
Moving on to the growing child into their teenage lives, we see a steady segregation of kids from their initial stature in pre-school. The evident seems to be showing itself, where cases of bullying stems as one kid assumes too much power and begin enforcing their power over someone else (in my case, over the entire age group and below) while the weaker remain closed in their bubble, hoping for a miracle to happen to the bully… only that it doesn’t happen. Instead, these weaker minded kids get tortured, called names and even sometimes made a slave for the entertainment of the bully. See how this acts impacted your emotions? The point of this was to show that past experiences do invoke our emotions because we are reminded of what happened and how it happened, in our very own way, and if we have grown into adolescence or a young adult without having properly dealing with these experiences, it tends to manifest itself and haunt us all our adult lives.
Being from a family where the father of the house is the lion and the mother, a humble lioness, I never had something called “control” in my life, and that was where my insecurities stemmed from, manifesting itself into a slow decay of self-confidence and belief as I got older, which is something that must be dealt with over the course of time. The fact that being insecure in our adult lives or feelings of anxiety, first stemmed from conditioning of responses when we were young, based on experiences and our reaction or response to those experiences.
This clearly shows a correlation between response and experience having a clear impact to our emotions and how we feel about ourselves, because feelings are emotions. The way to deal with this is to first accept ourselves as beautiful, unique, talented and loving individuals capable of expressing self love and in turn, an outward expression of love and tender openness to others. To fix ourselves, we must first accept ourselves. To fix our minds, we must first accept that all emotions, feelings, thoughts, past judgements, feelings of self loathing and depression are all part of life. We must first learn to encounter these feelings or emotions on a piece of paper where we are able to track and see these things as physical events, and not kept inside for all eternity. To be able to see these events and write them down, shows that you now have the power to kickstart a new journey of understanding and acceptance towards how we have been or the character that we portrayed as a growing child, so that we understand that these events have an impact on our very existence.
To those who have come to understand the workings of their lives, my plea as a writer and as someone who was left behind in terms of emotional maturity is to comfort those who are struggling, to come to a state of understanding and acceptance that these things happen, that it makes our lives unique and beautiful because of it. To have an open heart to learning that not everything is bad, and to teach them a thing or two about mental maturity, and as to why one would feel how they feel.
To those who are struggling on a day to day basis, to never give up and to find the environment that allows you to best express yourself instead of bottling up your character and personality inside, in which you close yourself to the world and making you a heart of stone, ever on the downward spiral. Know that it is an event which has happened, which has taken place in one’s life and all for good reason. Our lives are not dependent on these factors because we are worth much more than you can imagine. To hold life in the highest regard, to see it’s beauty in each and every step is our greatest gift.
To those who have forgotten, you hold the power of life in your hands. For better or for worst, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. That phrase in itself, is a reminder not only to married couples, but to individuals as well, to be married to the soul, to love thyself in all thine brokenness, to appreciate thyself in times of distress, to understand that every day is a day of progress. If we understand it, we become powerful. And that very power is our hands. How we choose to act on it then, is what defines us. Let us then not hold back our pure intentions. Let us then not hold back our genuine characters. Let us then not hold back our strongest traits so as to give way to others, for with the acceptance of these, we give these traits the power to manifest.
Never let ourselves dive in the deepest darkest pit too long, for we all know what it is like to live in a hole, letting life pass us by. Because every minute spent is a minute we will never get back. So let us learn to enjoy this precious thing called life. The connections, the emotions, the trials, the tribulations, the suffering, the pain, the pleasures, the joy, the happiness, the smile of others, the laughter, the memories and everything in between, cherish it while we can. For we miss the Sun when it starts to snow, we hate the road when we’re missing home, we only we love them when they’re no longer there.
So cherish this finite currency called life.
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P.S: Today is the 27th of October 2020, and this is my first time writing to an audience of this magnitude. My acknowledgement goes out to all of you who feel defeated in life and want to bounce back hard and strong. It is never too late to give things a try, and never too young to learn new things, as how I am today. I will be writing for a week straight, one article everyday. One humble request from me is to read with an open heart and to share with me if you have ever felt the same or struggling with the same things as I, and I would gladly take you on my journey to self-empowerment as we go along together.
Love and light to you all! May God protect and provide you with insights to life as He has done for me. Take care, and see you again :))
